Energy
by Fairytailanimefan
Summary: Wanda has always depended too much on people. She is alone, for what seems like the first time in forever, and it's absolutely terrifying. All she can count on is herself. She makes a vow to never depend on anyone else again. Too bad somebody didn't get the memo. ThorxWanda pairing


**This isn't usually a pairing that I would consider, but I got a PM from somebody requesting this, and I was inspired. Hopefully it worked out okay, thank you for the request FeralG3!**

It hurt to breathe. The wound was far too fresh for her liking, there was no way that she would survive this pain. She wanted to curl up into a ball and hide, fade from existence. She just wanted to be back with her brother, her other half. It had been years, and yet the pain would flare again, rearing its ugly head to torture her with thoughts of what could have been.

Pietro had been her entire world. The only person she'd had for so long, and she lost everything in just a few moments. He'd had an honorable death, but she was selfish. She felt _abandoned_ by him. Could she ever be truly happy without him? To be happy without him… it left a sour taste in her mouth. It would betray him, to let herself be happy.

Nobody had asked her about it, and she didn't plan on going to anyone about it. After Thanos' defeat, everyone was busy celebrating the return of their loved ones. Everyone that had been dusted from the snap had returned.

But Pietro was still lost to her. There was nothing she could do to bring him back, and that felt like torture. After Vision's restoration, she closed herself off from the Android, and he let her drift away. It was almost like there had been nothing between the two of them in the first place. She was really, truly alone for what seemed like the first time in forever.

It was terrifying.

So she sat and wallowed in misery for so long… she refused to pull herself out of it. Her entire life, she'd had Pietro as the rock beside her… and after that she clung to Vision like a lifeline. She felt like they understood each other, like they could truly have something good… but she realized that whatever they had wasn't real. It didn't matter to her what he was, that wasn't the problem. No, the issue was that their feelings were shallow. It was out of necessity that she wanted to be with him.

So she made a decision, right then and there that she would never depend on anybody again.

Unfortunately, somebody didn't get the memo.

It wasn't until the next day that she saw anybody else in the compound, and she was just trying to grab a quick breakfast and go to hide back in her room. But when she walked into the kitchen, she saw a certain god of thunder pulling the box of poptarts out of the cupboard. She tried to sneak out, but the giant man had excellent hearing, and he turned to greet her with a polite smile.

"Lady Maximoff, wonderful morning isn't it?" his mismatched eyes twinkled in the light, and she gave a weak smile back.

"I suppose it's good. It's odd, to be back…" she trailed off, glancing down at the ground with some discomfort.

"I noticed you weren't around for the celebration yesterday." he mentioned, and her eyes darted up to his, studying his mind to check and see what he was trying to imply. She couldn't sense any malice, only genuine concern and curiosity. She felt herself relaxing in his presence.

"Yes, well… it's hard for me to celebrate when there are still some people that can't come back." her voice sounded hoarse to her ears, and she tried not to wince. "Sorry, excuse me." she said quickly in an attempt to escape, but he strode forwards, placing a large hand on her shoulder, his eyes shining with understanding.

"Lady Maximoff, I too have lost my brother. I am very sorry about your brother. I understand the feeling." his smile was sad, filled with longing, and she felt an ache in her heart. She wanted to be selfish, to close herself off from him and go and pity herself some more, but she could feel the pain radiating off of him in waves. She couldn't leave him when he felt like this, it just wasn't in her nature.

"Thor, I'm sorry about Loki…" she trailed off as his eyes flashed at the sound of his brothers name. "It's hard."

"Does the pain ever fade?" he asked softly, and she felt shocked at the vulnerability the god was displaying. He had always played the tough, rough guy, could never be upset by anything… he never really showed weakness. "I know you've had longer to cope with your loss, and I just want to know… it feels so sharp, now." he explained quietly, his eyes focused intensely on hers as he awaited her answer. She felt her mouth open and close as she felt his pain, his sorrow, his desperation. It felt like his mind was screaming, pleading with her to tell him everything would be alright. But she couldn't lie to him, especially not now.

"Honestly? I don't think it will ever go away." she sighed, shaking her head. His hand dropped off her shoulder, and his posture slumped. He looked defeated, but the raw, vulnerable energy ebbed away, leaving an emptiness in its wake. She felt another pang at her heart, and she continued. "But I think that it's important to feel it."

"How so?" he asked, setting the box of poptarts down, forgetting about breakfast for the moment. She thought for a bit before answering.

"Well, if I don't feel pain when I think about him, it's like… it's like I'm okay with his death. And I'm not." she sighed, pushing some of her hair out of her face in frustration. How could she put into words what she was feeling? She almost wished that she could extend her ability, give him the capability to see what she was feeling. An idea sprung to her mind, and she reached out a hand. "Can I try something?" she asked, extending herself to him. He gave her a cautious look, but placed his hand into hers hesitantly.

"What are you attempting to do?" he asked.

"If it works, you'll know." she smiled softly before closing her eyes. Wanda took a deep breath, focusing on the tender, raw part of her heart, her soul, the pure, untouched pain simmering there. She slowly drew it out, projecting it towards the warm hand in hers, hoping he would understand. She heard a sharp intake of breath, and she knew that he had felt it. She let her eyes open, and she saw his were closed, a lone tear trailing down his cheek, darkening his smooth skin and disappearing into his beard. She blinked back her own tears as his eyes fluttered open, his beautiful eyes shimmering with emotion.

"That was…" he gasped, fingers tightening around hers as he focused back on her. "Inexplicable." Thor finished. She shot him a watery smile, squeezing his hand back.

"It's really hard to cope. But, I think of him often. Sometimes on purpose, and sometimes it's just because I miss him. He will always be with me." Wanda's voice wavered again, and she cursed herself for her weakness. But, Thor was understanding, and he gave her a smile.

"Lady Maximoff, your gift is a beautiful thing. Thank you for speaking with me about this. Not many people can understand this type of pain." his smile was almost blindingly genuine. There was something about this man, he gave off waves of comfort, he nearly gave his entire being up for her to absorb. She had never actually noticed his energy before, it was almost intoxicatingly comfortable. She kind of wanted to get as far from him as possible, but another part of her wanted to get closer, feel more of this genuine soul. This energy, it soothed the raw edges of her own like a balm. She felt peaceful next to him.

"If you'd ever like to talk about it, my door is always open." she nodded to him, letting her hand slip out of his once she realized their fingers were still intertwined.

"I may take you up on that offer." he gave her an almost secretive smile, and she felt her face heat up, her stomach tightening with some sort of anticipation. What was this? This feeling of… it was almost hope, a mixture of excitement and anxiety. She hoped that he would come and see her again, but another part of her was scared of the feeling she had. What exactly was that? It was nothing she had ever felt before.

It wasn't until days later that she heard a knock on the door to her quarters, and she jumped before requesting FRIDAY to let her visitor in. Her stomach had that same tight feeling again, and when she saw that it was indeed Thor coming to see her, the feeling got even more intense.

"Good afternoon, Thor." she smiled politely at him, but stayed seated. She was curled up in the window seat with a book, though she was barely reading it. She had been staring outside at the green trees and grey sky for hours, rain pattering against the glass and lulling her into a peaceful meditation.

"I hope I'm not intruding. This is a very nice space." he glanced around, admiring the cozy room. She had bookshelves and knick knacks galore. She felt slightly embarrassed by the clutter, but the god didn't seem to mind.

"You aren't intriguing at all. And, thank you." she finished awkwardly, swinging her legs to try and get rid of some of her nerves.

"I wanted to see how you were doing today." he asked with a friendly smile, and Wanda's breath hitched in her throat. He was so open with his emotions, he projected them easily, and she could feel his comforting energy already relaxing her.

"I'm doing well, and yourself?" she said, closing her book and reshelving it underneath her seat. She figured she wouldn't be needing it anymore.

"I'm feeling much better than I was during our last meeting. I wanted to thank you, actually, for sharing that with me. I was wondering if we could talk?" he looked hopeful, and she held back a chuckle as she smiled at him. He reminded her of a giant puppy, in a way. He was loyal, playful, easily pleased and quite curious.

"I would like that." she nodded, pushing that nagging feeling to the back of her mind. She knew that she had told herself that she wouldn't depend on others, but just talking to the man wouldn't hurt anything. "Here, have a seat." she patted the spot next to her, letting him squeeze next to her. He looked out the window at the rain, lightning striking in the distance and illuminating his face before a low rumble of thunder reached them.

"I'm quite fond of the rain." he mentioned, and she grinned at him, that tight feeling returning at his nearness.

"I am as well, it's really quite relaxing. I've been watching it for hours." she replied, glancing out to study the raindrops streaming in rivulets down the window.

"I used to make it rain to bother my brother. He hated bad weather, always made his hair frizz up." Thor joked, and Wanda felt a burst of laughter escape her.

"I don't think I ever had the pleasure of meeting your brother. He sounds funny." she smiled.

"He would have liked you. You have very intriguing gifts, I'm sure he would have wanted to study you. Loki loved magic, and illusions." she could feel pain coming from him, but she gave him a soft smile and she felt the energy ebb away.

"He sounded interesting. Did the two of you have a good relationship?" she asked, and Thor gave her a sheepish grin.

"Admittedly, it was complicated, but when we were on the same team we were nearly unstoppable." the way he lit up when he spoke of Loki was addicting. She listened to him speak for a long time, completely enraptured by the tales he told of he and his brother over the past thousand years. It was surreal the amount of shenanigans that the two brothers had gotten into, and she felt as if she knew Loki personally by the animated way he spoke of him.

She interjected every so often, asking a question or giving an opinion of what the two had done. But, overall, just listening to the god speak was comforting. His energy soothed her soul, and she felt warm and almost happy. It was almost two hours later before he stopped speaking, and even then he was only a few hundred years into their lives.

"I'm sorry, Lady Maximoff, I didn't mean to take up your entire afternoon." he apologized as he stood.

"No, it's quite alright. I liked hearing your stories." she smiled at him. "Would you tell me more someday?"

"Of course. I enjoyed remembering them." he chuckled softly, his eyes softening for a moment. "And, would you tell me some of your brother one day?" he asked tentatively, and she sensed the hopeful energy seeping from him.

"I'd love to." she smiled softly, feeling a pang of longing for her brother as she thought of him.

"Until next time then. Have a good evening, Lady Maximoff." he nodded, walking towards the door.

"Wanda." he paused as she spoke. "Call me Wanda."

"Wanda." the way her name rolled off his tongue caused that tight feeling in her stomach to return tenfold, and she secretly hoped he would say it again. "Thank you." he smiled, giving her another nod before exiting her room. She let out a breath she wasn't even aware she was holding, tilting her head back against the window. It had darkened considerably outside, and she sat there as the shadows in her room lengthened, thinking.

But it wasn't thoughts of her brother that consumed her. She was imagining young Thor getting into trouble with his brother, and she couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her face. She would have liked to see the two of them in action one day. Unfortunately, the world was a cruel place, and Thor had had his brother torn from his side far too soon. Wanda's heart ached for the god, wishing she could bring his brother back to soothe his pain. It wasn't fair that he lost Loki. What could Thor have done to deserve such a cruel, despicable punishment?

In her mind, the man could do no wrong. His energy was so pure, so good. He gave himself so completely to everything, hid nothing, and was so generally positive that she thought it was near impossible for anyone to be in a bad mood around him. She wanted to help him feel better. She would do her best to help him.

It was only one day before she saw Thor again, and this time it was in the common room in the compound. She was on the couch, and it was raining again. She had been in the room for a while, staring out at the dark sky and daydreaming. Clint had joined her at one point, and they were chatting about nothing in particular when the god of thunder waltzed in.

"Wanda, good afternoon." he greeted with a wide smile, coming over to the pair on the couch and plopping himself into the armchair adjacent to them.

"Thor." she acknowledged him with a grin, a fluttering feeling bursting through her entire body at the way he looked at her, at the way his energy intermingled with hers.

"I'm here too, you know." Clint scoffed from beside her, and Thor's smile drooped as he looked at the archer with slight disdain.

"Hawkeye." Thor greeted with annoyance, and Wanda held back a chuckle at his mood shift.

"Nice to see you too, buddy." Clint rolled his eyes. "What brings you to our coffee clutch?"

"You have neither coffee nor a clutch of eggs." his brow furrowed, and Wanda let her laughter escape her at that.

"He wasn't being literal, Thor." she explained, and Clint gave her a look like she had two heads. She felt confused energy radiating off of him as the archer glanced between her and her new friend. His eyes widened for a moment before a smile broke out over his face, and his confusion ebbed away and was replaced with something like humor, it was like Clint was amused by them. She felt her own brow furrow in confusion at his new energy, what was so amusing?

"Well, you two kids have fun. I'm gonna go talk to Steve." he smirked as he stood, waltzing out of the room and leaving behind that odd amusing feeling in his wake. She glanced over to Thor, but he merely shrugged before giving her another smile.

"I thought we may continue our conversation from yesterday?" he asked, and she nodded eagerly, folding her legs beneath her as she leaned forward, enraptured as he began to speak. As time went on, the stories continued to get more complicated, the brothers issues with one another beginning to surface. Loki felt jealous of Thor's position for the throne, and Thor refused to acknowledge his obvious privilege, letting his brother become more bitter as time went on. She felt herself get lost in their story, his energy pulling her into his words closer and closer until he was the only thing she could focus on. She barely spoke this time, merely letting him tell the story of what he and his brother got into.

"What is a Jotun?" she asked once Thor revealed that they found out about Loki's adoption into the family. He hesitated, frowning as he thought. There were a few new energies swirling around between them, he felt shame, and guilt as well.

"I had been raised to believe that all Jotuns were monsters. They are giants generally, made of ice and frost that are so cold they burn you with just a touch. They are magical creatures that live in Jotunheim, another realm adjacent to Asgard. It is eternally winter in that realm, and where their power stems from." Thor explained. "My father, Odin, found Loki abandoned as a child, the son of King Laufey."

"So, he was the prince of Jotunheim?" she asked, curiosity causing her to lean forwards. She was close enough to see her reflection in his eyes, and she quickly attempted to regain some distance between them, a flush of embarrassment racing through her.

"Rightfully yes, although he was a runt. Laufey had left him to his death, and my father decided that Loki should be saved and raised on Asgard in hopes that he could someday help to unite the kingdoms and end our rivalry." Thor sighed.

"Quite ambitious of him. I'm assuming things didn't work out?" she laughed weakly, and she felt Thor's energy flash with shame.

"My brother did not take things well. He attempted to use the Bifrost to destroy Jotunheim completely, and I had to destroy it in order to stop him. And that was when I lost my brother for the first time." Thor sighed, and she cocked her head to the side. She pursed her lips before posing her question, and she felt fondness ebb through his energy.

"First time? How many times did you lose him?" she asked. He gave a small chuckle before shaking his head.

"We'll get there, don't worry. Shall I continue?" he asked, and she nodded her head eagerly. She felt like she was getting to know the god much better than she had ever been interested in before. For some reason, Wanda barely thought twice about Thor after Ultron, as he had gone back to Asgard not long after. But, now he was back, and she allowed herself to think of him more often than she was comfortable with.

Over the next few days, Wanda and Thor were nearly inseparable. In the mornings they would meet in the kitchen, chatting over breakfast about their lost loved ones until they had to go their separate ways for training and work. But in all of their spare time throughout the day they sought each other out, seeking comfort from one another.

Soon, other people began to notice, and one day Clint pulled her off to the side of the kitchen.

"Wanda, what's going on between you and thunder thighs?" Clint asked, crossing his arms over his chest with a stern look. Clint had taken her under his wing since Ultron, and he knew her better than almost anyone else in the compound.

"I'm not sure what you mean. We've become friends, isn't that obvious?" she asked, shaking her head.

"Well, kid, it seems like a lot more than friends to me." she felt her face flame at his insinuation.

"Clint, it's not like that between us. I know we seem like unlikely friends, but we have a lot in common…" she trailed off uncomfortably, wringing her hands together. The more she thought, the more she realized that they didn't have much in common at all. The only thing they _did_ have was their dead siblings. And was that really something healthy to start a friendship over?

"Oh, really? Like what?' he asked sternly. She bit her lip, avoiding his gaze as she tried to think of anything other than Loki and Pietro.

"Grief." she admitted, feeling a wash of shame race through Clint's energy as he uncrossed his arms, and he gave her an understanding look.

"I'm sorry, Wanda, I didn't realize…" he shook his head awkwardly, running his hand through his hair.

"No, it's okay." she reassured him, and the shame faded away as hope took its place.

"I'm glad you're talking to someone about it. I know that I wasn't very helpful." Clint sighed, and she gave a small smile in return.

"It's not that you weren't helpful, you just…" she trailed off, looking for the right words.

"I couldn't relate to it." he finished for her, and she nodded.

"And he does." she added. He gave her a soft smile before glancing at the doorway, even though no one was there.

"I'm glad you can find somebody to depend on." he said, looking back to her. She frowned, her mouth opening before she could think about what he said.

"I don't depend on him. I don't depend on anybody." she shook her head, remembering her promise to herself. Clint's energy became muddled with confusion as he stared at her.

"Well, dependance isn't a bad thing, kid." he explained.

"No, Clint, I won't depend on anyone ever again. I don't _need_ anybody else." this time, she was the one to cross her arms, and Clint looked at the doorway again. His confusion was almost overwhelming her, and she wasn't sure why it was so strong. It was all she could feel in the moment, it muffled all of her other senses.

"Wanda, you shouldn't close yourself off from other people like that. You and Thor have become close."

"We haven't." she disputed his statement with another sharp shake of her head. "It isn't like we talk about anything other than our lost ones, Clint. That's all we've got in common, really, it's not like we really care for one another.." saying it out loud felt wrong to her, why did it feel so wrong? "Once the loss doesn't hurt so badly we'll be on our separate ways again, don't worry." saying the words out loud made her feel sick. Was that really how it was? Once they'd finished grieving, they would be on their own again? She would be… alone again? That wasn't right. Clint's confusion was still too much for her, and she took a step back, trying to get out from the cloud. It was altering her own emotions, and she took another few stumbling steps backwards. She began to feel something else, something…

Hurt. She felt hurt. But it wasn't hers, and it wasn't Clint's. She'd recognize that comforting energy anywhere. But right now, it wasn't comforting. Not at all, it made her feel even worse. She whirled towards the doorway, seeing _him_ there. Thor had been standing just outside the doorway that entire time.

"Thor, I…" she didn't know what to say. Should she apologize? No, because it was the truth. Right? That was the truth? There was no way he cared for her outside of being on the same team together. Right? He just wanted someone to talk to about his brother. _Right?_

"Lady Maximoff." he nodded to her before quickly walking away, and she felt like he had slapped her. He didn't call her Wanda… he was back to the formalities. Why did it hurt so bad? It shouldn't hurt so bad, she told herself not to depend on anyone else… oh god, she _was_ dependent on him. Why had she let herself depend on him?

"Wanda, you really don't care about him? At all?" Clint's words sent a flare of realization through her. She did care about him. A _lot_. And the fact that he'd just walked away from her after _hearing_ what she'd said… her stomach curled in on itself in horror. She'd just said that she didn't care about him. But she _did_ care! She felt sick. She'd _hurt_ him.

"I…" her breathing was heavy. She didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do. Should she go back to her room? Should she ask Clint what to do?

"Wanda." Clint seemed to make her decision for her. "Go after him." at her mentor's words she bolted, sprinting down the hallways in the direction he'd gone. She went through many rooms, passing a few studies and meeting areas before stopping in front of the doorway to the lounge. Thor was there, standing in front of the window, staring out at the rain.

"Thor." she tried to call out to him, but her words were more of a whisper. He didn't look at her, but his shoulders tensed, and a bad energy flowed through her, pain and suffering and _loneliness_ permeated the air around the god. She felt like she'd been punched in the gut. It was _her_ fault he was feeling that way. She bit her lip before stepping closer, forcing herself to ignore the painful waves of energy coming off the god. "Thor, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize." his voice was cold, emotionless in the quiet room. She flinched at the sound of it, she had _never _heard him sound that way. He was always happy, always in a good mood, always excited to speak with her… god, she had ruined everything. "I understand." he continued, but still hadn't looked towards her.

"No, you don't understand." she shook her head, right at his side now, facing him as he refused to even glance down at her. "I'm _sorry_, Thor. I didn't mean that. What I said… I was wrong." she sighed in frustration as he ignored her. "I do care. I don't know why, I don't know how, but _I care_." he still didn't look at her.

"Lady Maximoff, how can you care when we only speak of matters concerning our dead brothers?" he reminded her, and she felt stung by his blunt words. She deserved it though. But all she wanted to do was make him understand. _How_ could she make him understand? He wasn't listening to her, and she'd never been good with words…

"Thor, give me your hand." she asked quietly. This time, he glanced towards her, seeing her offered palm and ignoring it. "Thor." she pleaded, brushing her hand against his as she waited. Agonizingly slowly he reached out to her, and she greedily wrapped her fingers around his. She closed her eyes tightly, reaching down deep inside herself for that feeling, that tight, anxious, nerve-wracking feeling that simultaneously scared and her and thrilled her. She pulled on that emotion and it burst forth like a well, and her body tingled from her toes to her ears as she pressed the energy forwards towards his warm palm in hers. She cracked her eyes open to see his were closed, hips lips parted and a small crease between his eyebrows as he processed the complicated feeling she'd given him. She could sense his own energy, the pain slowly ebbing away and being replaced with something unfamiliar to her, something…

No, it was familiar. It was like something she'd felt recently, but different. It wasn't quite so anxious, or scary, but more… comfortable than that, and that was fitting for him, because all of his good feelings soothed her in that way. But this feeling… it was like fondness, a little bit of adoration splashed in, and there was an overwhelming burst of happiness that rushed forth as he opened his eyes, his posture relaxing as a grin overtook his face. She felt relieved, he finally was _happy_ again. A frown really didn't suit him.

"Wanda, you… I…" he sighed, shaking his head, and she bit her lip.

"You don't have to say it." she shook her head, a small smile forming on her lips. The feeling washed over her again, ebbing from somewhere deep within him and pulsing into her, and it mingled with the tightness in her stomach, relaxing her and causing it to become something good. Great, even. His smile widened ever so slightly, and his fingers tightened around hers, and he used that grip to tug her closer to himself.

"Thank you for showing me." he sighed out, emotion glimmering in his eyes as he focused on her. Being this close to him, she could really appreciate how beautiful he was, really. He had a chiseled face, obviously she couldn't use the term god-like because he _was_ one, but he looked otherworldly, absolutely stunning. She barely noticed as he moved closer, she could feel his breath on her face and she noticed how he smelled of a light musk, and kind of like the rain. It was intoxicating, that scent. She felt her eyelids flutter shut as his lips brushed over hers, and everything melted away.

She no longer focused on her powers, or on his energy, or on hers even. She could only feel the physical at that moment, that tightening of her stomach loosening into sparks that flew through her body. It was thrilling and soothing at the same time, like a thunderstorm. She pressed her lips against his eagerly, and they could have been kissing for seconds or hours, she couldn't tell, and she didn't care.

The only thing that she cared about was that when they pulled apart, his comforting, happy energy was back.

And she vowed to never let it slip away again.


End file.
